Why Boundaries Are Important

I used to be afraid of boundaries because I thought they were mean - and I don't like being a mean person.

And I thought that if I stood up for myself that I would destroy the relationship.

But what I didn't fully understand was that setting boundaries is actually the most loving thing I can do for my relationships.

Because boundaries are about love.

Love for myself and love for the other person.

Setting a boundary actually protects my heart from resentment.

When I continue to get frustrated or angry because something is happening that I'm not ok with, resentment begins to build within my heart.

And the more resentment there is in my heart toward someone, the less space there is for love and compassion.

And when there's no love or compassion, then I have destroyed my relationship from the inside out.

So if you love someone and want to protect the relationship, boundaries are a must.

Sure, it may feel a little uncomfortable at first creating a boundary when there hasn't been any.

And the other person may even be a little angry because now you're 'changing the rules.'

But the boundary you're setting will ultimately create a healthier and stronger relationship.

It's not about trying to change the other person's behavior.

It's about changing your own behavior.

It's about you and what you feel comfortable with, what's ok and what's not ok with you.

You're not telling them what to do, you're telling them what behavior is ok with you and giving them the chance to respect your wishes.

You get to have wants and needs, dreams and desires, and it's not mean to set boundaries around them.

If you need help understanding boundaries better, you can check out these podcasts: