Villians, Victims, and Heroes
I work with a lot of clients who are deciding to divorce, are in the middle of divorce, or are already divorced.
Divorce is a challenging and difficult experience for everyone I have ever worked with - including myself!
One of the main things that makes it so challenging is that very often we feel so justified in our pain.
And it's really easy to make the ex-spouse (or whoever else is in our story), a villain.
But here's something important to remember - if there's a villain, there is always a victim.
And that's where you step into the story.
You become the victim, someone who is overpowered and helpless.
So, what to do?
We use our brain. That's what we do.
We take that villain and get him/her out of our story because remember, it's a story you are creating in your own head!
We move them out of the role of a main character and either completely delete their presence in our story, or we make them a small extra who doesn't impact our story at all.
This story we create in our head is powerful.
Because once there is no villain, there is also no victim, and then we can begin to see ourselves as the hero of our own story.
What would your story look like without the villain?
How would the hero of your story (you) interact with others and move the storyline forward?
Retell your story with you as the hero, the person who gets to make all of the decisions and save the day.
And then go out and do it.
Stop waiting for the villain to leave the story on their own, I can promise you they won't.
Because you're the one keeping them in by continuing to blame them for your current circumstances.
Intentionally choose to move them out of your head and stop blaming them for all the things.
Then you'll be telling a story worth living!
