Why Change Is Hard
Let's talk about our primitive brains for a bit.
The primitive, or lower, part of our brain is amazing.
All of our automatic functions are run by the primitive brain.
The fact that you can tie your shoes and not think about putting the bunny through the hole makes life pretty easy.
Because the primitive brain is all about efficiency.
If it can be automatized, or turned into a habit, the primitive brain will do it.
Remember when you learned to drive a car?
A one-hour trip would leave you exhausted because you had to think about every lane change, every turn signal, every brake and every gas.
And now, it is all so automatized that you can drive for hours and never consciously think about using your turn signal or looking over your shoulder to change a lane, although you probably do it every time.
We love our primitive brains, especially when we want things to stay the same.
But when we want things to change in our lives, the primitive brain is not our friend.
Here's why - the primitive brain is wired for three things:
1. Avoiding pain
2. Seeking pleasure
3. Conserving energy
And anytime we want to change a thought process or a behavior, we are working against these three things.
Say you want to start walking for three miles every night after dinner.
Your primitive brain will say, 'that might be painful.'
Or it might say, 'watching Netflix would be much more pleasurable.'
Or maybe you'll hear, 'I'm just tired and don't have enough energy.'
This is your primitive brain doing what it was programmed to do.
And in primitiveĀ people time, these things kept us alive.
But our lifestyles are so different these days, that those sameĀ brain processes no longer serve us the way they did when we all lived in caves.
So, learning to engage our pre-frontal cortex, our thinking brain, or our higher brain, is the key to creating change in our lives.
Our primitive brain will always seek for the least painful, most pleasurable, and easiest thing to do.
But it's a rare experience where these things will help us change and step into our next best self.
These things do not help us deepen our relationships and create greater respect for ourselves.
Learning to pay attention to the primitive brain nudges and see them for what they are is a huge part of change and growth.
