Coaching and My Second Marriage
Before I started my coaching journey in 2019 I was in a very different place.
I had been divorced for three and a half years after being married for 24.
I honestly believed that I never wanted to get married again.
In fact, I remember telling friends, "Why would I want to mess up my life with a man?"
And I wasn't a man hater, I just had zero desire to have another marriage because all I could imagine was another dysfunctional one.
And then I started getting coached.
And my life started to change.
I began to see my own patterns of behavior that were dysfunctional and that were keeping me from creating the deep, intimate relationship I had always wanted.
I saw how my ability to resolve conflict was highly skewed by my blaming and shaming.
And I began to take responsibility for all the things (that I was currently aware of!)
And things began to change for me.
I moved into a better and better space, and my experiences and connections with people became stronger and healthier.
And then I became a coach and my awareness continued to increase as I studied the concepts of coaching more and more.
And then in 2021, just over five years from my divorce, I started to rethink dating and marriage.
I worked with my own coach to help me identify my beliefs and decide which were true and which were not.
And I decided that I wanted to have the experience of having a deep, emotionally intimate partnership.
And I realized that through coaching, I now had the tools to be able to create the intimate relationship I wanted.
So I started dating, and I used the tools from coaching to figure out how to find great men online.
And I used the tools from coaching to figure out how to weed out the men who were not my kind of person.
And I used the tools from coaching to step into relationships and learn how to be vulnerable and accepting and kind and forgiving in a way I never had before.
And I used the tools of coaching to learn how to have honest and open discussions.
I have found my person, and we got married in March of 2022.
And my heart is so incredibly grateful for coaching.
And for my courage to move into discomfort and do super scary things, like be vulnerable.
I'm overwhelmed with gratitude for all of the coaches I have worked with who have helped me to see my thoughts, and explore them, and make intentional decisions.
Coaching has changed my life.
Coaching is helping my amazing husband and me to communicate in ways neither of us have before.
It is helping us to create the kind of deep, connected relationship we both dreamed of for years and could never figure out how to create in our combined 53 years of marriage.
And we couldn't be happier!
I feel more fulfilled and confident in my ability to create a relationship that is healthy and thriving.
I am so grateful for this journey.
Coaching has helped me to become a person who is able to step into equality and communicate honestly and create a safe, accepting space for my spouse.
We don't do it all perfectly, and that's okay, because we implement self-confrontation, repentance and forgiveness.
We offer each other grace for our humanity and realize that our differences are not a problem.
We choose to make the other person's happiness and success be as important as our own.
It's a place I couldn't have even imagined ten years ago.
Want to dig a little deeper?
Check out these podcasts:
#198 My Last 90 Day Relationship
