Coaching and Counseling - What's the Difference?
When people contact me for a free consult to talk about coaching, they often want to understand the difference between coaching and counseling.
One of my clients said it really well this week.
She said she has been seeing a counselor for about six years, but had an issue she hadn't discussed with him that she wanted to discuss with me because she knew I would push her.
And for me, as a coach, that is 100% a compliment.
Often, a counselor or therapist will create a really safe space for their client to explore past experiences, to process trauma and abuse.
They have a lot of skills in diagnosing and identifying mental health concerns.
They are really great at helping clients who are struggling with some of the basic functioning skills necessary for living.
One analogy I love is that if you can't get out of bed, you need a counselor. If you can get out of bed, but don't know what to do next, you need a coach.
As a coach, I generally work with clients who are functioning, and often functioning well, and don't have debilitating mental health concerns, but who may feel they are stuck in their lives.
They want to move forward but can't figure it out, or they need an outside perspective to help them see things that are hindering their growth that they are unaware of.
They need help seeing patterns of thinking and behavior that they are not seeing but that are detrimental to their relationships with themselves and with others.
My client knows, from the work we've already done together, that I will push her to see patterns of thinking and behavior that are holding her back.
She knows I will push her to accept responsibility for areas she may have slipped into blame and accusation.
She knows I will push her to move in the direction she really wants to, but sometimes gets hung up in her own head about.
And this is why she hired me.
To help her get out of her comfort zone and into her courage zone.
To help her stop being stagnant and start growing and moving.
To help her see how she is unconsciously blocking her own growth and guide her in how to best get out of her own way.
To help her stop being the victim in her story and step into being the hero of her story.
And sometimes this is tough.
The week before the same client told me that every week she questions before our call whether she wants to get on.
Not because I'm not kind in my observations and feedback, because I promise I am.
And not because I don't create a safe space for my clients to discover, because, honestly, that's one of my super powers as a coach.
But because sometimes, okay, most of the time, seeing our own stuff is painful.
It can be really hard to see your own dysfunctional patterns that have contributed to a life you don't want, and that have hurt people you love.
But the only way to get the life you want and stop hurting people you love, is to become aware of your dysfunctional patterns of behavior and address them head-on.
And yes, it can be really hard and really painful work.
But when you come out the other side and are now working with new, healthier patterns of behavior, it's the most amazing thing in the world.
This change is the Atonement of Jesus Christ at work.
This is creating change, and growth, and deep fulfillment with our lives.
This, My Friends, is what God's plan for us is about.
And I'm honored to be a part of this change in so many of y'all's lives.
Thanks for trusting me.
