A Space For Grace
I believe that grace is a very underutilized concept in our relationships.
I love this definition of grace from Merriam-Webster: unmerited divine assistance given to humans for their regeneration or sanctification.
Creating a healthy, loving relationship requires A LOT of grace.
When I can offer 'divine assistance' to the humans in my life, I am becoming more like God.
Sometimes it helps to be reminded that our spouses, our children, and our friends are human.
Really and truly human.
I think we know this, but all too often we think they should 'know better.'
Or they should have 'thought it out first.'
Or they 'wouldn't do that if they loved me.'
When in reality, as humans, we are all so full of flaws and full of ourselves and our own concerns.
Sometimes it seems we make more mistakes than than not.
This space of being a human can be hard, and frustrating, and overwhelming sometimes.
Sometimes, even when we love someone very much, we don't think about them first.
We don't remember something they told us.
We say something that we think is clever that actually comes across as hurtful.
We are, after all, humans.
And we're all just figuring it out as we go.
And sometimes we forget that.
Offering grace to ourselves and to others means that we recognize we are all full of flaws.
We recognize that they will make mistakes that we could see as hurtful.
We recognize that they won't be perfect, or even a little bit close to perfect.
Offering grace means we give them the space they need to be a human, to make mistakes.
And we do it without shaming them.
Without hurting them back.
Without getting offended and turning against them.
Grace means that we recognize that they don't do these things to intentionally hurt us.
Grace means that we accept their flaws and offer them the space to apologize and try it again.
Grace means we acknowledge, and even embrace their human imperfections.
Grace means we stop expecting them to be perfect.
I love the second part of the grace definition: 'for their regeneration.'
That is so beautiful to me.
We offer grace so others, and ourselves, can regenerate, so we can both become something new.
So we can grow into a different version of ourselves.
We are assisting us both in becoming better humans.
And this happens through grace, and some really clear, loving, and clean communication.
A Space of Grace is one of the most valuable gifts you can offer the people you love.
When we stop expecting our people to be perfect and start allowing them to be people in the process of regeneration, things will change dramatically.
Interested in learning more? Check out this podcast:
