00:00 

Hey there, welcome to Intentional Living with Tanya Hale. This is episode number 418, "Loving What Is." Welcome to your place of finding greater happiness and intentional growth, because we don't just welcome to the life of our dreams...we choose to create it. This is Tanya Hale, and I'm your host for Intentional Living. 

00:21 

Alright, hello there, my friends. Welcome to the podcast. I'm just glad to have you here. Thanks for showing up every week and thanks for sharing this podcast with other people who can benefit from this content and helping me spread this word. I feel so driven and so called to share this information and to put this out here. And I know it's not perfect. I know that this is not high, high quality. The content is, but I know that my execution of it's probably not the best you've seen out there. But the content is phenomenal and it changes lives. 

01:03 

I know it does because it has changed mine. It has created for me a life that is mind-boggling in what happens and how I live and the relationships I'm able to create. None of my relationships are perfect. This doesn't mean that I don't have angsty relationships, but it does mean that I show up in ways that I feel really good about most of the time. And when I don't, I circle back around and clean it up. That's what this is all about. It's all about being a human, accepting my humanness, and showing up in the best way that I possibly can. So I'm so glad that you are here to join me on this journey of imperfection and messy living because that's what it is. 

01:46 

Alright, before we jump into the topic today, I want to remind you that July 14th is my next Talk with Tanya. You can get signed up for that by going to tanyahale.com. You can go across the top to the group coaching tab and there will be a place there where you can sign up for the Talk with Tanya. You will get an email that has the link for it and you will get an email the day before and also an email about an hour before it starts. And I just love these. It's just an opportunity for anybody who wants to to show up, to ask questions, to get coached. I'm a pretty open book about almost anything in my life. And sometimes people ask me questions about what I'm doing. And often we just coach three or four people in the course of that hour. So if you would like to come, see what that's all about, and you don't even have to say anything. You can just come and listen and hear other people get coached. That's always a phenomenal opportunity as well. 

02:46 

And if you love the content and you're like, "I need to understand that a little bit," look down in the show notes, see what's going on there. I have, I usually have a list. You know what, I used to try and keep it short and now I'm just like, listen, I'm just going to put in all the ones that I think have anything to do with this. So sometimes that list of podcasts gets pretty long. I absolutely don't think you need to listen to all of them, but I would love for you to check those out in the show notes and find a couple that kind of speak to you and learn a little bit more about them. Because if you can walk away from this podcast every week with just one small insight, one small nugget, one little piece of information that changes how you see your life, your world, your relationships in a more positive way and teaches you how to engage in a more loving way. 

03:41 

This is worth the time. The goal here is not overnight success. It would be nice if it happened that way, but it just doesn't. The goal here is a nudge here, a nudge there, a nudge, a nudge, a nudge, a nudge. 

03:54 

And slowly but surely, we start living more in alignment with our values and living in ways where we can truly respect and love ourselves. So that's what's going on here. Check out those show notes and listen to some more podcasts. Figure out what's going on. And please feel free to reach out. There is a contact me button on my website as well. Reach out if you have any questions. And if you would like to take advantage of that free coaching session, jump in, take advantage of it, and then we will also talk about what coaching with me would look like for you. 

04:26 

Alright, we are going to jump in today with episode number 418 called "Loving What Is." This title comes from the title of a book from Byron Katie, and the title of her book is called "Loving What Is." Now, let me give you a little bit of my history with finding coaching for those of you who have not heard this before. And I know that those of you who had are just biting at the bit to hear it again, but let me tell you. 

04:52 

So I'd been divorced about nine months when I found Brene Brown. And up until that point, I was pretty much convinced that all of the issues in my marriage were my previous husband's, that if he would have been different, that we would have been happy, that we would have made it work, that things would have, we would have figured things out. And I didn't really look at myself that much because I honestly didn't think that I was the problem. 

05:19 

Well, I had a friend introduce me to Brene Brown and I found her audio recording in the library called "The Power of Vulnerability." And since my friend just like a week or two had introduced me to her and said, "have you heard of Brene Brown?" When I saw that, it stood out to me. And I just felt like, "oh, there it is. I guess I need to listen to her." And so I pulled it off and I was rapt attention for three weeks. I could keep the audio for three weeks and then I had to turn it in or two weeks, I guess it was, but nobody had reserved it after me. So I listened to it again the next two weeks and nobody had it reserved after me. And so I listened to it one more time before, you know, my limit of three was up. I listened to in three weeks, I listened to that audio recording three different times and every time was like I was listening to it for the first time. I was blown away by the concepts that I was hearing. 

06:22 

I had never associated vulnerability with marriage before. Don't know where I was in my first marriage, but I wasn't in a place of vulnerability. Learning about boundaries, which I had no idea was even really a thing because my family of origin, we just didn't cross a lot of boundaries. And I started to learn about how to engage and how to be open and how to be honest. And I could not get over it. And I listened to everything Brene Brown for quite a while. And then when I was starting to feel a little bit saturated with Brene Brown, I remembered that a good friend of mine that I had gone, that I had met through the John Maxwell team life coach certification that I had gotten, he had told me once about when he was going through a divorce, reading a book called "Loving What Is" by Byron Katie. 

07:16 

And at the time, I had bought it because of his recommendation, but I had just put it on my shelf and had never gotten around to reading it. So when that came back to me, I went back to my bookshelf. I found that and I started reading and again, blown away by her book. And it shifted everything. And I found out later that there were so many connections between the things that I was learning. But the basic concept of loving what is is that you cannot change reality. What is is what is. We can't change it. We can only learn to accept it and even love it. 

07:59 

Now, at first, this concept was very confusing to me, and I had a hard time. I was listening. There's an example that she gives in the book of if, and it's been a while since I've read it, so I may have some details wrong here, but this is how I remember it, of a spouse leaving their socks on the floor, in the middle of the floor. And she said, you don't have to get upset. You can just pick them up and put them in the dirty clothes. And I was a mom who still had some kids at home. And so the freshness of "I have to train my kids, I have to teach my kids, I have to" blah, all of that stuff was fresh. And I was just a year and a half, probably, maybe two years at this point out of my divorce. And so this not being taken advantage of thing was really strong and this nobody's going to walk all over me mindset was really strong in my brain. 

08:53 

And so I was so confused when she was just like, "listen, you just pick up the socks and put them away." And I was like, wait a minute, that's not fair. That's not how this works. And I was so confused. And then the more that I read this book and the more I discussed it with my exercise friends, the more I really started to understand the truth behind this: it's not about the socks. It's not about the socks at all. The socks are just socks. It's about what I think about those socks on the floor. 

09:33 

Now, I can argue with the fact that, and Sione does not do this, but I'm going to use spouse as an option. I can argue with the fact that a spouse leaves their socks on the floor. And I can say, "he shouldn't be doing that. He should put them up. He should do all this." But guess what? He doesn't. Those socks are on the floor. Okay, I can argue with that reality. But what does it get me? It just gets me angry. It gets me frustrated because the socks just sit there. They don't get up and walk themselves to the laundry hamper. Right? So I can argue with reality that those socks should not be left on the carpet. 

10:18 

But as Byron Katie says, and this is one of my favorite quotes from her, she says, "when you argue with reality, you're going to lose, but only 100% of the time." And when I really started to figure out how to set my ego aside in this kind of content, concept, and accept reality, everything started to look different. I realized that I get to choose what to get worked up about and what not to get worked up about. I don't have to live in anger and frustration and drama because there are socks on the floor. And I also don't have to live in that situation that I'm in if I don't want to. 

11:08 

This whole place, this whole concept, of being able to take control of my life just really started to land for me. I think I spent a lot of years in a difficult marriage thinking that divorce was not an option, which made me feel very powerless. And I know a lot of people, a lot of the people I've worked with even, have had that same thought: "well, divorce is not an option. I can't get divorced." And when we live in that space, of course we feel trapped. Of course, we feel anxious. Of course we feel anxiety and frustration and anger sometimes. 

11:45 

But when we realize that I don't have to live with the anger and frustration and drama, and I also don't have to live in the situation if I don't want to, I get to choose. I, what is that? What is that quote that they come out with. I am the captain of my soul. I am the master of my soul, the captain of my ship. I don't know. Maybe you know which one I'm talking about. Maybe you don't. Off the top of my head, I'm not remembering it. But I get to choose. I really get to choose. 

12:15 

So if we put this in the thought model that Brooke Castillo taught me from the life coach school, there's this idea that my thoughts create my feelings. Now, this is not a brand new thought that idea that Brooke Castillo came up with. It is an idea that has been taught through all the philosophers through all the ages. This idea that what we think creates what happens in our lives. 

12:41 

Okay, so this, the way that she narrowed this down, she put it in what we call the thought model. And the thought model is that I have a circumstance that happens. There's five parts, the circumstance, and then I get to have a thought. That's line number two. I get to have a thought about that circumstance. That thought then creates my feelings. Those feelings then drive my actions. And those actions create the results in my life. So the five parts are circumstance, thought, feeling, action, result. 

13:15 

So when something happens, like socks on the floor, I can feel angry about them being there because of what I think. Okay, now I want you to realize that what if the socks were there and I thought, "oh, I'm so glad they left those out because I want to throw them in the garbage because they have holes in them." That wouldn't make us angry. The socks on the floor would not make me angry if I said, "oh, I'm glad they're there so that I can throw them away because they have holes all over in them." What makes me angry is the thought that they shouldn't be there on the floor. My spouse should put them in the dirty clothes hamper. Why are they doing it this way? They're doing it wrong. Those are the thoughts that create anger. 

14:11 

And listen, I can argue with those thoughts all day long. "They're doing it wrong. They should be doing it different. Why don't they do it the way that I want them to?" I can have those all day long. And guess what? What does it bring me? It only brings me angst and anger and frustration. Why do I want to feel that? Why do I want to feel angry about socks or about dishes or about the bed being made or whatever? Why do I want to feel angry about that? 

14:42 

Or, as Byron Katie taught me so succinctly, I can learn to make peace with what is. I can learn to love what is. Maybe. Wouldn't that be fascinating? How could I be at peace with socks being left on the floor? Well, maybe my spouse isn't doing it wrong. Maybe they just choose not to. Right? I get to decide, "oh, this is just who my spouse is." Like if I've talked to my spouse about it and I said, "listen, I really am not happy with socks left on the floor." I can make a request: "I would love it if you put the socks away." They might do it and maybe they won't, right? Maybe that's just who they are and maybe they just  don't even think about it and maybe it just doesn't matter to them even a little bit. And maybe having it matter to me does not trump it not mattering to them. So I can decide, oh, okay, this is how they are. He is never going to start putting his socks in the hamper. 

15:54 

So then I get to decide, how do I want to respond? Do I want to be angry about socks all the time? Maybe I do. Maybe I don't. Personally, I don't want to be angry about socks. That doesn't sound like a very lovely life to me, especially if there are socks on the middle of the floor every single day. I don't want to feel that kind of anger. But here's the other piece. This also doesn't mean I have to just lay down and be a victim. In fact, it's exactly the opposite. When I learn to love what is, then I am choosing to be the hero of my story. 

16:34 

I'm not the hero for my husband because I pick up his socks. I'm the hero for me because I'm doing something that makes me feel better. How do I want to respond to socks on the floor? Do I want to throw a fit and yell and call my spouse names? Absolutely, I can if I want to. But is this how I want to show up? For me, that's a no. Maybe for you, that's a yes. And that's okay. You get to be whoever and however you want to be. In my mind, though, showing up that way for me would make me feel like a victim, if I'm yelling and throwing a fit and calling him names. So for me, I can step into hero mode instead and I can say, "well, how do I want to respond to these thoughts on the floor? Who do I want to be in this situation? How do I want to be? And what's my next step?" 

17:33 

So let me get clear again on victim mentality. Victim mentality is when things happen to me. Other people hurt me. Other people make me feel sad or angry or dismissed. Other people need to change so that I can feel better. They need to love me more so I can feel better. They need to compliment me more so I can feel better. They need to pick up their socks so that I can feel better. This is victim mentality because I am dependent upon somebody else to change so that I can feel better. Okay, so I'm focusing on the problem. The problem is the socks. But when I can get away from these types of thoughts, then I can get out of the victim. 

18:23 

See, the victim needs other people to change, and we have zero control over whether other people change or not. The victim is held hostage by other people's choices, which means that they give up their power. The hero, on the other hand, accepts that other people behave how they do, and I don't have control over that. The hero chooses how they want to behave, regardless of how other people show up. The hero is empowered by their choosing to respond the way that they want to instead of reacting from emotion. 

19:04 

So when Byron Katie says, "Loving What Is" as the title of her book, the peace in our lives comes not from resisting how other people behave because resistance is exhausting. The shoulds just frustrate us. The unmet expectations drive us crazy. When we learn instead, when we train ourselves to release the responsibility for other people's choices in thinking "they should do this, they need to do this," then we choose peace. 

19:40 

And yes, having shoulds and unmet expectations is taking responsibility where it's not our responsibility, because we're trying to take responsibility for how other people should show up. We are getting in other people's lanes when we do that. And when we learn to stay in our own lane, to release the expectations and instead choose how we want to respond, we find peace. We find more emotional regulation. And from this place, we can think clearly. 

20:15 

Here's an example that I like to use with my clients oftentimes. Remember back in the 80s? So I learned to drive in the 80s. And we had these cars that in the middle of winter, you would have to turn it, crank the key, and then pump the gas to get enough gas into the system. And I'm not an engine person, so I don't know all the terminology. But I remember just having to pump, pump, pump, pump, pump. And sometimes it would start and sometimes the engine would flood. And when the engine would flood, then I would have to just stop. I couldn't feed it more gas. I couldn't turn the ignition. I just had to sit there for two or three minutes, it seems like, if I recall correctly, until the engine got unflooded. With the flooded engine, it would not start. It could not do it. 

21:07 

Now, when I let my emotions get super dysregulated, now I'm not talking about emotional triggers that are deep, right? Traumas. This is not what I'm talking about here when I'm talking about this kind of emotional deregulation. I'm talking about emotional deregulation that comes when I'm like, "that freaking husband of mine, he should be doing this", right? That's what we're talking about. But what happens is our prefrontal cortex gets flooded just like the engine would get flooded. And when the engine was flooded, nothing could happen in the engine. When my prefrontal cortex is flooded, nothing, there's no productive thinking going on there. And it's only when I'm regulated that I can think clearly enough to respond in alignment with my values. 

22:04 

So if I start getting dysregulated, deregulated, I have to take a break. I have to let my prefrontal cortex get unflooded. And that can, there's many different ways we can do that from breathing exercises to going for a walk around the block to finding a quiet place to just sit by myself and meditate or whatever it takes. But if my prefrontal cortex is flooded, I cannot think clearly to respond the way that I want to. And responding in alignment with my values is part of being able to set appropriate boundaries. I cannot set an appropriate boundary when I am flooded. I will just be screaming and yelling that they're an idiot and they're a jerk and they're a lazy pain in the neck and why can't they do what they're supposed to do, which is clean up their socks. 

22:58 

Okay, so part of responding in alignment to my values is setting appropriate boundaries, being clear on what are we okay with and what are we not okay with. So let's go back to my favorite example on this podcast, the socks left on the floor. If you really are not okay with socks on the floor, then you get to make a request. And you get to say, "sweetheart, I noticed that these socks are left on the floor on a regular basis and I'm really not okay with that. It's very important to me that these socks not be left on the floor. Will you please not leave them there and instead put them in the clothes hamper?" I can make that request. Okay? That's how it starts. 

23:49 

And then my spouse gets to say, "oh, I didn't realize that that was a problem for you. For sure, I can do that." Or they might say, "you know what? I don't care about socks on the floor. Socks don't matter to me. Like they're not hurting anybody. Nobody's tripping on them." They're, you know, they could make up whatever and they could say this just doesn't matter. Okay. So, okay. 

24:15 

Then we get to set the next level, right? First we make a request, then we set a boundary. Okay. And we get to decide what is the consequence for leaving their socks on the floor. Okay. And it can be anything in a wide range. Okay. You could say, "the next time you leave your socks on the floor, I am going to..." what are you going to do? You're going to pick them up and throw them away? Are you going to pack your bags and leave the house and file for divorce? Are you going to set fire to the socks right where they lay? You could. You absolutely could do any of those things or any other multitude of things in there. You can absolutely do all of that. You just get to decide what is the boundary that you want, what is the consequence for the boundary. If you literally are not okay with socks on the floor, then that gets to be communicated by you and you get to decide what is the consequence. Okay? Maybe it is the last straw. Maybe you do leave and file for divorce. I don't know. It's your decision. It's what you get to figure out. Right. 

25:33 

But another option is you could decide that it's just socks, right? You could just say, well, it doesn't matter to him, but it matters to me. And because it matters to me, I'm going to pick him up and put them in the dishwasher or not dishwasher, put them in the laundry hamper. I was thinking about...my husband and I just have this phrase about dishes, "it's just dishes." You know, if I walk in and I say," oh, I left those dishes out and you did them for me," he'll just say, "they're just dishes." You know? And they are. They're just dishes. The dishes aren't causing the problem. The dishes are just sitting there. What causes the problem is the thought that, "oh, she's a lazy bumpkin and I'm going to take her out. She shouldn't leave this for me. She should put her dishes away." Notice all the shoulds. That's what causes the problems. Okay? 

26:25 

But going back to the socks, you get to set a clear and concise and calm boundary. "I am not okay with you leaving your socks on the floor. Will you please put them in the laundry bin?" And then, as we talked about, you can move up the ladder to extend consequences if necessary. But we want this done calmly and with love. Loving what is is not necessarily loving the socks on the floor, but it's loving my response to things that are not the way that I want them to be. It's learning to not resist the fact that the socks are there because resisting the socks being there isn't helping because the socks are there. And this is how we get to loving what is. You may not love what they are doing, leaving their socks on the floor, but you get to love how you respond. 

27:23 

So before we talked about these two options, I don't have to live in anger and frustration and drama. We've kind of talked about that one. The second one, I don't have to live in the situation I'm in if I don't want to. So now let's talk about the second one. I don't have to live in the situation I'm in if I don't want to. 

27:39 

I want you to know that this really is an option. You get to decide. You get to decide whatever you want. There is rarely a right or a wrong. This is what agency is all about is that you get to choose the path you walk. Okay, so for example, let's say that your spouse is a hoarder and your house is getting deeper and deeper and thicker and thicker and there are rooms in your house that you can only walk in a path and the piles on the dressers and on the counters are just getting higher and higher. You can say, "I don't want to live in a hoarding house" and you can move out. Now, this doesn't mean you have to get divorced. There are a ton of options between staying, living in a hoarding house, and getting divorced. Ton of options between there. 

28:34 

And guess who gets to choose which option they want? You do. And the minute you give up your choice by saying, I can't leave, he's a horrible person, like the minute you give up your choice, then you also give up your calm. You give up your responsibility. You give up your power. And this is what causes us to develop contempt for the people in our lives. This is what pushes us over the edge and has us living in anger all of the time. This is what makes us feel powerless and scared spitless. If we want to be in control of our lives, we have to stop trying to control all the people and we have to start taking control of us. And that means learning to be in control of our emotions so we don't get flooded, which means we have to start learning to manage our minds. Not letting all of the things, big and small, throw us into a tailspin and out of control. Not letting all of the things make us angry. 

29:47 

We get to choose all of this by how we think. I see the socks on the floor and who do I want to be in response to that. I can choose to leave them there and I can have to manage my thoughts around them every time I walk past them for the next week. I can choose to ask for what I want: "Sweetheart, I don't love the socks on the floor. It would be really helpful to me if you would pick them up and put them in the laundry basket and not leave socks there in the future." I can choose to make passive aggressive comments: "Oh, well, if I didn't have to walk around your socks every time I walked through the living room..." Right, can do that. I can make little jabs when we're out with family and friends: "Oh, well, at least you don't have to walk around a pile of socks in the living room. At least you don't have stinky socks, you know, every day left out." Or I can decide that they're just socks and it's okay. And I can pick them up, put them in the hamper myself, and be done with it. 

31:00 

Now, the question that everybody says is, oh, well, then I'm just being a doormat, then I'm just getting walked all over. And let me just offer you this. You are only being a doormat or getting walked all over if you think you're being taken advantage of. If you think that it's not your job, if you think that your husband is a jerk and you have to do all of this extra work, you know, then maybe you are getting walked all over. But if you choose to think that you're picking up socks because you like a home without socks on the floor, then no, you're not being taken advantage of. You are creating a space that you want to live in of your own accord. 

31:43 

You are choosing to create the environment that you want. And our power, our peace, comes from how we choose to think and feel and respond. When we are in alignment with our values, when we are loving and kind and compassionate, we feel amazing. When we are out of alignment, when we're angry and frustrated and resentful and calling names and being passive-aggressive, we generally feel pretty horrible. It feels powerful for about 10 seconds. Then it feels pretty horrible, right? 

32:18 

But being in alignment also doesn't mean that we blow it off and pretend that it doesn't exist. It doesn't mean that we harbor resentment by not talking about it and putting it on a back burner and pretending it's not there. It doesn't mean we  wait until we blow up with about three months' worth of angst. It does mean that we are clear on who we are, on what we want, and on how we want to be. And then we make decisions and show up accordingly. Maybe getting upset is who you want to be and it aligns with your values. That's all good. You get to choose. 

33:00 

The Gottmans wrote a really great book probably two years ago now called "Fight Right," which they talked about the research around arguments in marriages and they found that it's not how you argue, meaning do we argue big and loud or do we argue small and quiet? Neither of those mattered on whether people had good relationships and repaired in relationships. What did matter was that however they did it, whether it was big and loud or small and quiet, they did it with kindness and respect. 

33:37 

And they did it moving toward repair, not being mean and harsh. So we have to do what we do with love and kindness and compassion. We have to treat the other person in a way that aligns with our values. Then this is when we can love what is. This is when we can find peace in difficult situations. This is when we have tough conversations, ask for what we want, and set appropriate boundaries. This is when we rock the boat, but don't create a tsunami. 

34:19 

Loving what is means that we accept the other person and their agency to be however they are. And we focus on our response to their behavior instead of their behavior. Because we can't control their behavior. And anytime we're trying to control something we can't control, those frustrated feelings fester and fester and fester. 

34:47 

So years ago, when I was in young women's, we went to a girls' camp and it was just, there was just stuff happening all the time. And we finally just, we had a bishop who loved to make acronyms. And so we kind of played off of that and we just started saying, listen, it is what it is. I-I-W-I-I. And then we ended up shortening that down to E-E-We-E. I-I-W-I-I, E-E-W-E-E. And so the whole week of girls' camp, when things would just like something would happen, we would just go, well, E-E-Wee, which was our way of helping us remember that, oh, we can't change it. This is what it is. All I can manage is my response. I can only control me. E-E-wee-ee. 

35:32 

So I get to be clear on who I am and how I want to be, and I get to show up accordingly. And this starts with managing my thoughts around the situations in my life, learning as well to let other people behave how they want without angst and frustration and annoyance for me. This allows us to love better, to love more cleanly, to feel more compassion, not only for ourselves, but also for others. And when we stop resisting reality, which is how other people are going to show up, and when we instead focus on our intentional response to am I behaving in alignment with my values, then we can find peace and clarity of mind. And then we choose to stay because all of the angst and frustration is gone, or we choose to leave because we don't want to be married to somebody who doesn't know how to clean up their socks. 

36:42 

I know that's a small example and it sounds silly in that context, but you get the point, I'm pretty sure. We get to choose. This is when we learn to love what is, when we learn to accept that this is the situation. Fighting against it isn't going to change it. But I can be clear on my boundaries and I can be clear on the consequences. 

37:08 

Okay, my friends, it's going to do it for me. If you need some help with this, this is pretty higher level stuff that can be pretty tough. And if you feel like you need help learning how to love what is, learning how to manage your thoughts around all the small inconveniences and annoyances, I would love for you to set up a coaching call with me. And I would love for you to start thinking seriously about getting some one-on-one coaching. Sometimes that's what we need. I'm not a counselor. I don't go into your past and we don't dig up stuff. I don't diagnose you with any kind of mental struggle or illness. What I do do is help you love what is. I help you manage your life today in a way that feels amazing. And I help you create the future you want by showing up better today. This is what I do with you. And your life can be completely different in three or six months from now. It can be completely different just because you learn how to manage your mind. 

38:11 

So if you want to set up one of those one-on-one appointments, go to my website, tanyahale.com. Go over to the right-hand side and you will see a free consultation button. Click on that. You will have access to my calendar. Find a time that works for you. Get signed up and let's have a little chat, shall we? Let's talk about your life and about what we can do to get you in a place where you love what is more than you ever have. Okay, that's going to do it, my friends. Have an awesome, awesome week, and I will see you next time. Bye. 

38:47 

Thank you so much for joining me today. If you would love to receive some weekly motivation be sure to sign up for my free "weekend win" email: a short and quick message to help you have a better weekend and position yourself for a more productive week. Go to tanyahale.com and learn more about web coaching and how it can help you get to your best self ever. See ya.