Tanya Hale 00:00 

Hi there. Welcome to Intentional Living with Tanya Hale. This is episode number 356, "How Coaching Helped Me," with a previous client, Stacey. Welcome to your place for finding greater happiness through intentional growth, because we don't just fall into the life of our dreams...we choose to create it. This is Tanya Hale and I'm your host for Intentional Living. 

Tanya Hale 00:23 

Alright. Hello there, everyone. So glad to have you here today. Got a treat for you. Before we jump in though, wanted to remind you that May 13th is my next Talk with Tanya. Just a great opportunity for you to get on a Zoom call with me and whoever else wants to show up. And we just chat about whatever y'all want to talk about. We've done coaching. We've done a deep dive into concepts. We've answered questions about my life. Anything is free game. And I'm pretty much an open book if you have any questions. And just love the opportunity to connect with you on those. So whether you're a previous client, a current client, never been a paying client, I don't even care. I just love to get you on there and love to chat with you and help you gain a better perspective. And even if you just come and listen, it's always amazing to hear other people get coached. That's one of my favorite things and one of my greatest learning tools for helping me be a better coach, I think. So love those. 

Tanya Hale 01:19 

Also, just a quick reminder that I've started putting on the show notes some other podcasts that have a similar kind of topic to what we talk about. So if there's something on today's podcast that you go, 'oh, I would like to learn more about this,' jump on. Jump onto the show notes at the end of wherever you watch or listen to your podcast and find those other podcasts. Give them a listen. I think you'll find them very, very helpful. 

Tanya Hale 01:47 

So today, this is my special treat. I've never done this before. So I have on a previous client today. Stacey and I started working together when she was just shortly out of her divorce and still struggling with that. We worked together for about a year and a half. And in that year and a half, she cleaned up her brain about her divorce and started taking responsibility there, which morphed into her taking more responsibility with her adult kids who, understandably, were struggling with the divorce, which morphed into her dating a little bit and also morphed into her finding her person and getting married. And now is in a relationship that applies all of these tools and just seeing what a phenomenal, amazing experience it is. 

Tanya Hale 02:35 

And I wanted you to see this because I think a lot of times we think that it's just everybody else. Like, I can't clean up my stuff. I can't figure this out. This is too hard. It's too much vulnerability. My ego just can't handle it, although we don't usually say that although that's oftentimes what's going on behind the scenes. But I wanted you to see that here's like, I'm a normal person. Stacey's a normal person. And she has done some phenomenal, difficult, hard work to get to where she is today. And I just wanted her to share her story with you. So we got on and we had a nice little catch up catch because we hadn't chatted for a while and we get to share her story with you today. So I hope you enjoy this chat with Stacey. Alright, Stacey, I am so glad to have you here today. Let me just have you take a minute and just share who you are and why you might be here today. 

Stacey 03:36 

Okey-dokey, thank you for having me. This is really exciting and fun. So I was going through a pretty rough divorce and I was in therapy with an awesome therapist whom I love. And I started listening to different podcasts on divorce, on parenting adult children. And I came across Tanya Hale and I listened to it and it really resonated with me, just your personality. And I felt comfortable because we have similar personalities and similar views on things. And we belong to the same church. And so I knew that we would have that in common as well. And the first one that I listened to was about owning your own. And it just kind of clicked. And so I went back from the very beginning and listened to all of your podcasts. 

Tanya Hale 04:33 

You did what? I had no idea you did that! 

Stacey 04:35 

From like, was it 2020 or 2019? 

Tanya Hale 04:39 

2019 I started. Oh my gosh, girl. Crazy. 

Stacey 04:42 

Listen to all of them. And so I called and did my first appointment and I knew it was gonna be a good fit and the right thing for me. 

Tanya Hale 04:55 

Wow. Okay. So do you mind going into a little bit more specifics about some of the challenges of, I mean, not super specific, but after the divorce and why you thought that you might need a coach where you were already in counseling? Okay. 

Stacey 05:10 

So in counseling, I really came to know my feelings and where they stemmed from in childhood and all of those things, which was great to understand. But then I wanted kind of more of an action plan of these are the things I need to work on. How am I gonna do that? So I think by the time I started seeing you, I was about eight months into my divorce. And my relationship with my kiddos was pretty shaky on all accounts. I had a daughter that was married and had a baby already. And she was really struggling, probably she was struggling the most of all my kids with our divorce, because she lives close and she was just kind of in the middle of everything. And then I had a daughter on a mission who was not talking to me at that point. And then a son in high school that wanted just to be with his dad and nothing really to do with me. So I was in a pretty rough spot at that time. So I was really looking for some help. 

Tanya Hale 06:26 

And what was some of the first things that coaching gave you as you and I started working together that kind of helped you catch your breath and get your head above the water, right? 

Stacey 06:37 

That things were not all his fault, which in my mind, they totally were all his fault. And I think you just kind of helped me see that no, I had, you know, my part in this too. And as we kept working together and still I can say, 'oh, maybe I wasn't such a great partner.' And I had a lot of things to work on if I wanted a relationship to be healthy in the future. 

Tanya Hale 07:08 

Yeah, I think coming out of divorce, it is so, so easy to be in a space of blame to move into that victim mentality, right? Like it's all his fault. This is where I'm at. If he would have done this different and he needs to do this different before I can feel better and yeah, how, how deeply entrenched would you say you were in victim mentality? 

Stacey 07:31 

Oh my gosh, all the way. I could not see that any of this was my fault, that I had tried my hardest. I had wanted to work on things and it was all him and not me. 

Tanya Hale 07:47 

Yeah. So can you remember anything specific that we talked about that kind of like knocked you upside the head and made you go, 'oh, wait a minute.' Because if you'd listened to all those podcasts, you'd listen to ones about the victim mentality and being a martyr. You'd listen to a lot of that. But what was it that really just kind of clicked for you? Do you remember? 

Stacey 08:09 

I think the owning my own, that really helped me to look at things differently. And then the thought model definitely helped with that. But I think the thing that really clicked was the one-up, one-down mentality. When I heard that, I was like, 'oh my gosh, I have put myself in either the one-up or one-down position my entire 25 year marriage.' It was never on equal ground. 

Tanya Hale 08:44 

Yeah, you know, I think for me moving into my new marriage with Sione, I think that has been probably one of the most significant pieces for me is to start saying, 'listen, we are equals.' And I have to look at him as an equal. I have to see him as an equal. I have to treat him as an equal. And I really have to believe in my heart that we are equals. And for me, it's easy to go up into a one-up mentality, way more easy than a one-down. So yeah, I think the one-up one-down is a huge, huge thing for me as well. 

Stacey 09:16 

It is. And I still, I can, I'll catch myself doing that still. And I have to say, 'Stacey, this is, you are equals and don't put yourself or him and in that position.' 

Tanya Hale 09:30 

Very good. So besides the one-up, one-down, what are some of the other big takeaways that you really pulled out that helped you get back on your feet after your divorce? 

Stacey 09:43 

First of all, that it's not always someone else's fault, that I need to take responsibility and accountability for the things that I do and say in the relationship as well. It's so easy to blame someone else, even my kids, you know, 'it was their fault. Why are they thinking this way?' kind of thing. And then, um, curiosity. I really think that being curious about things really meant most problems or disagreements...because when we start to understand where the other person is coming from and why they're doing the thing they're doing or saying the things that they're saying, then it's easier to understand that. We are equal and we all have our own opinions and that's okay. Even if I don't like it, it's okay. 

Tanya Hale 10:40 

I think it's easy for our egos to feel very threatened by a different opinion and by somebody else seeing the world differently than we do and learning to manage our minds around that and really like exactly what you said, like this space where like, 'listen, it's okay.' They can see the world different. They can have a different opinion and it's all good. Like there's nothing that's gone wrong here, big part I think of, of learning to get along better. I agree. So we did coaching around your marriage or your divorce, I guess I should say, right? We did a lot of coaching and that we also did a lot of coaching around your children and how you interacted with them and how you approach them. What were some of the big ideas there that, that helped shift how you approach parenting with your kids? 

Stacey 11:33 

I think allowing them to have their own space, to have their own feelings, their own stories, just let them deal with what they needed to deal with without interfering, first of all, and then just cleanly, just loving them, showing them love, showing up how I wanted to show up and being the mom that I wanted to be without any expectations. 

Tanya Hale 12:02 

Yeah. That clean love concept that we talk about, right? How easy is that? 

Stacey 12:09 

Um, not. In my mind, if I'm loving them, they should be loving me or if I'm giving something, they should be grateful and give something back. But that's not how it works. I just, specifically with my son who was in his early high school years at that time, he was really struggling and he was really kind of mean sometimes. And I just had to check my ego and all of my instincts to parents and just say, 'Hey, I love you so much and I want this relationship with you. And I'm here loving you and waiting. And hopefully you will want that sometime too.' 

Tanya Hale 13:04 

That's a hard thing to do. 

Stacey 13:06 

Yes, it is. Very hard. So thank you for helping me with that. 

Tanya Hale 13:12 

Yeah, I think it's very, very tough when when so many of us were raised with the idea that, I always go back to this phrase that we grew up with is killing with kindness. And at this point in my life, I'm like, that is just so manipulative. Right. Because for me, the idea behind it is if I'm kind enough, eventually they will have to get in line, they will have to like me, they will have to agree with me or whatever else. And so I hate that phrase at this point in my life, because I don't like the manipulation that's inherent in the idea there. And I think sometimes we do that with our kids. We just think, 'well, if I just keep loving them, eventually they'll come around.' But guess what? They might not. We might keep loving our kids and they might never come around. 

Stacey 14:06 

And we have to be OK with that. And that's the hard part, I think. 

Tanya Hale 14:09 

Yeah. Yeah. But what are, honestly, what are the options? Not love them, get manipulative, get passive aggressive. Like none of the options are going to make anything any better or the only thing that's going to take down the roadblocks, so if they ever decide they want to drive down the road is by showing up clean. 

Stacey 14:39 

I agree. Make it easy for them. 

Tanya Hale 14:40 

Yeah, yeah, you did a great, great job with that. And that was some hard, hard work for you. 

Stacey 14:46 

Thanks. Yes, it was hard. Thank you for teaching me and supporting me. 

Tanya Hale 14:49 

Yeah, you did some good work. So, so tell me how you progressed in the time that we worked together, for about a year and a half. So tell me your progression from when we started until the time that we stopped working together. What changed in your life? What did you see different? 

Stacey 15:05 

Um, I think my relationships definitely changed and improved in that time because the work that I was doing on myself and the things that I was learning from you. So I learned, first of all, the thought model was really, really key for me. And I started out by writing down each step in my journal. So I would write everything down step by step, what the circumstances were, what I was thinking, what I was feeling, all of those things. And, um, it was a lot of work and hard to wrap my mind around a lot of things and I would scratch things out and go back over and rephrase just so it made sense to me. And then I think the more you do that, the more that I did that, the easier it gets. And so now I can manage my thoughts so quickly. I can go through the thought model in my brain kind of almost without thinking or working on it and change the way I think and view things and people and situations. 

Tanya Hale 16:15 

Yeah, it's kind of like any skill, isn't it? The more we practice it, we have to practice it super, super slow. And then the more proficient we get, the faster we can be at it. And then the more we can do it without thinking. So I remember when I was in ninth grade and was learning how to play basketball and had to learn how to do a layup for the first time, it was like bounce, bounce, pickup, step, shoot, bounce, bounce. And I went through that hundreds of times on the right side and the left side to figure out how to do a layup the right way. And by the end of that school year, I could receive a pass from down the court and do the process, but at first it is a lot of arduous work for sure. 

Stacey 17:05 

Yes, it definitely is, but so worth it. 

Tanya Hale 17:09 

Yeah, so how did you progress? So things didn't immediately get better with your kids, right? I mean, there were some struggles for a while. And how did you continue to progress? 

Stacey 17:21 

I think just offering the love that I felt for them without expecting anything in return, and just working on those relationships...when I could being curious about what they were feeling Asking lots of questions, when they were willing to have those discussions. And really understand where they were coming from. And what story they they were telling themselves. And just trying to work on that and show them that I'm your mom and I love you no matter what. Even if you're not nice to me, I'm gonna love you and be here ready for when you are. 

Tanya Hale 18:08 

So here's a question that just came to me...we started off working almost solely on the divorce and your mindset about the  divorce and stepping into responsibility for that. How did that pave the way then for you to do the work around your kids? 

Stacey 18:23 

I think stepping out of blame really helped me too, to realize that, oh, I'm not all clean here. And I know that affected my kids too. So when I did the work on myself for my divorce, I could also transfer those tools that I learned into parenting them or not parenting them, and just use those same skills, that circling back around, owning your own, those types of things really help in every situation, including my kids. 

Tanya Hale 19:05 

Mm hmm. Yeah, so I love this idea, because I think when when we take these skills, and we apply them in one circumstance, then we start to see how they fit in every other circumstance, right? And it prepared your brain to be able to then apply these in situations with your kids and learn how to get out of the victim mentality with your kids as well. Right? Was I always your favorite person? 

Stacey 19:35 

No, you weren't. I always loved you, but I didn't hang up liking you every week. 

Tanya Hale 19:42 

Yeah, sometimes we have to have some tough conversations, huh? 

Stacey 19:46 

I know and you were right and I had to wrap my mind around, oh, well maybe I am doing those things. 

Tanya Hale 19:56 

Yeah, I think it's really, really tough to face. Oh, gosh, it makes me a little bit teary, but I think it's tough to see ourselves in our raw form sometimes. And I think in my coaching, I try really hard to be compassionate and kind because I know how tough it is because I've been through that as well. And yet until we see the truth. We just cannot move into something better. You know. 

Stacey 20:24 

So true. Yes. So thank you for not being nice all the time. 

Tanya Hale 20:32 

I may not have always been nice, but I was always kind, right? I always just... We're always kind. Sometimes the truth is just really hard to see, for sure. And I know that oftentimes when I call my clients out on victim mentality, nobody likes to be told that they're a victim. And yet until we see that we're a victim, we don't know that we're being a victim, right? So maybe we can't pull ourselves out of that. 

Tanya Hale 20:58 

So you cleaned up your ideas about your divorce. You really started showing up better in a way that felt more authentic to you as a parent. And then you met a man. 

Stacey 21:10 

Yes, I did. 

Tanya Hale 21:13 

This was such a fun whirlwind, year and a half. 

Tanya Hale 21:17 

Yes, it really was. 

Tanya Hale 21:18 

Tell us about meeting Eric and the dating and how these tools played into you being able to interact with him and create a different kind of relationship. 

Stacey 21:34 

So luckily, I had done a lot of work before I met Eric, and we met at an amputee conference, we're both amputees. And he was from Pennsylvania, and I'm from Colorado. And so there was a lot of work that went into that as well. But I went in into the relationship very honestly, I said from the beginning, these are these are things that I want to be honest with you about  right up front from the beginning. So there's no looking back, back burner issues, any of that, we were both very direct and very honest from the beginning of things and talked very openly and honestly about our faults and, and what we wanted to change in ourselves and mistakes that we've made in the past. So it started out well. 

Tanya Hale 22:37 

Yeah, how did the coaching that we had done previous to that prepare you to step into that kind of a relationship? 

Stacey 22:46 

it played a very big role. I feel like in our relationship from the beginning, we started out with rules about, you know, this is the way that we wanted our relationship to be. And those, I based those rules on your rules, which was very nice. I think the back burner issues was huge. Because in my previous relationships, I had just not said anything so as not to rock the boat and to keep the peace and to try to be, I don't know, kind and loving all the time. And that's not my truth. And I feel like if something is bothering me, then I was able to say from the end, "this is bothering me, and this is why." And then be curious about things or circle back around all of those things that I think benefit each other. And let us make mistakes. And it's okay to make mistakes. We're both human. We're in this relationship together and we both want it to work. 

Tanya Hale 24:04 

Yeah. And I think when we're able to step into this real honest space where we're honest, but also a very curious space where it can be super easy to go into accusing or blaming or attacking or criticizing, but if we can set that aside and if we can address the situation with love and with kindness and with curiosity, I think things change so drastically in how we communicate. 

Stacey 24:35 

Yes, I agree. I think the curiosity is honestly one of the biggest takeaways that I've had instead of making up in my mind what I think, why they're doing something, why he's doing something or why my kids are doing something. Just ask them. "So why are you saying this," or "what is making you feel this way?" Those types of things. Just makes it easier to understand and forget. 

Tanya Hale 25:07 

Yeah. And you and Eric got married. It's been a year, hasn't it? 

Stacey 25:11 

It's been a year and a half. 

Tanya Hale 25:12 

It's been a year and a half? So you two got married. I remember shortly after you got married, and I hope you're okay with me bringing up this situation and maybe you'll want to fill it in if it stands out to me, it may not stand out to you at this point. I don't know. But he was still living in Pennsylvania but had come out for the weekend and you were having dinner at your house in Colorado with your kids. And when dinner finished, he went and sat in the living room. Do you remember this experience? 

Stacey 25:46 

Oh, yes, very well. 

Tanya Hale 25:47 

Do you mind sharing that because I thought it was so brilliant how you approached it. 

Stacey 25:52 

Well, so we had finished dinner and we just have this routine with my kids at my house. We all get up, we all just start helping. Someone starts clearing the dishes, someone starts washing and putting these in the dishwasher, wiping the table. We all just kind of have our own jobs because we've been doing it for so long. Well, Eric got up from the table and he just went and sat on the couch and turned on the TV. And in my mind, I'm thinking, "oh my gosh, we're gonna do this all over again. This is how I felt before. He's not helping. He thinks I'm just gonna do everything." And I could just feel the anger inside of me getting bigger and bigger. And so the kids all left and I had time to breathe and think for a little bit. And so I just went over and sat by him on the couch and turned off the TV. And I just asked him, I said, "so after dinner, I was kind of expecting you to help. Why didn't you? What made you come over here and sit down and turn on the TV? And how do you usually do things at your house? Do you clean up right after dinner? Do you wait a while, sit and visit and then clean up? How does all this work?" And he just said, "I felt out of place. I didn't help clean up because you all were doing something and I didn't know what to do and I felt awkward. So I just came over and turned on the TV." And that made me just, it makes me emotional now because in my other relationships, I would have just been mad. I would have let it fester. I would have been fuming about why aren't you helping? I made this big dinner for us and you're not appreciative. But instead what I found out is that he was hurting and feeling awkward and out of place. 

Tanya Hale 28:18 

Yeah, it never ceases to amaze me the stories that our brains want to make up from our perspective, like your brain was so desperately going and so quickly going to this place of, oh, great, he's just going to check out, is this the kind of marriage that I'm going to have is that, you know, is, is this how it's going to be again, and he just doesn't want to help and he doesn't want to partner up and he doesn't want all this. When in reality, he was feeling kind of pushed outside of the circle, like, I don't belong in this group of people. And so there was pain and anguish for him. And if we jump right in with our story of, you know, with blaming and accusing and attacking and criticizing, which would have been so easy for you to do in that circumstance, but instead, you showed up with some curiosity, and letting him know "this kind of surprised me, I wasn't expecting this. But help me understand why this is how you showed up." And that story has just stuck with me forever. It's been a long time since you shared that with me. But just the idea that, you know, when we step into curiosity and find out what's going on, rather than jump to our own primitive brain conclusions, it's oftentimes a very, very different story. 

Stacey 29:35 

I agree. That's been helpful for the past year and a half in our relationship. Just wondering why and asking why. 

Tanya Hale 29:46 

Yeah. So even though we're no longer coaching, tell me how these tools are still impacting your life. 

Stacey 29:58 

Well, I think we use them all the time every day, and I use them in my relationship with Eric and with my kids and with other people outside of my family as well. I think that the tools just become second nature honestly, like I'll do the thought model just unconsciously and that helps. Really that helps simmer all of my my emotions down and then asking why, being curious about things. I did this other day in my church calling which was very helpful too because I was getting irritated about something and instead of just staying irritated, then I just can ask questions and ask why and then you understand "okay, that's why they're thinking the way. They're thinking..." and then you can remedy that situation. 

Stacey 31:04 

And then circling back around helps in every relationship too. It's not just in my marriage but in every area can do that. And I had the first adult disagreement that I had with my sister, and It could have spiraled out of control honestly. We were both really upset and this helped me...all the tools that I've been taught in coaching helped me just be honest and vulnerable with her and then circle back around a bit able to apologize for things that I said, that I felt I felt terrible about how I handled the situation. We were able to remedy that without any hard feelings, without It simmering and just blowing up 

Tanya Hale 32:05 

Yeah. I just think these tools, like, I think for me, as you were talking about how now you kind of do the thought model in your head, it feels to me sometimes like it creates a bit of a time warp. And I know that sounds weird, but I think when we slow down enough to think, "okay, what am I creating here? How do I want to show up?" When we can start incorporating those thoughts into these struggling situations, it feels like time slows way down and I'm able to see things more clearly. I'm able to see the pieces and I know it doesn't slow down, but I think this is my guess on what is happening in my brain. Tell me what you think. I think that we're just used to so many thoughts running through our brain all at once and going through so quickly that we feel we have to act quick. We feel we have to respond quickly. We feel we have to jump right in and defend ourselves or whatever. But when I slow down and intentionally think, it's like most of those thoughts get pushed off to the side and I intentionally engage my prefrontal cortex to say, "okay, what thoughts do I want to think?" And so I think it feels slower because I have a lot less thoughts in my brain because I'm pushing out all of the superfluous thoughts that aren't gonna matter right now. And I focus in on "how do I want to show up? Let me listen to what's being said. Let me get curious." And when those become my main, pervasive thoughts at those times, there's less thoughts in my brain. And so it feels like time goes slower and I'm able to act more intentionally. I don't know, am I crazy? Or what are your thoughts on some of that? 

Stacey 33:49 

I agree. I think that's just kind of expounding on what we learned when we were kids. Like if you're upset, count to 10 slowly and breathe. It's the same concept of just kind of clearing all of those immediate feelings of anger and I don't know, ego, clears those out and you are able to think clearly. And that does slow down time. 

Tanya Hale 34:14 

Yeah, it's kind of a weird phenomenon, isn't it? It is wonderful. It's kind of cool to be able to see it more clearly, but that takes practice as well. 

Stacey 34:25 

It does. And I'm not perfect at it. I mess up all the time. And I react before thinking, but then it's easy to go back and just say, "I'm sorry." 

Tanya Hale 34:37 

Yeah, that circle back around process. I think once we do it a few times at first, our egos feel like they're going to bleed to death and they are fighting for ground. You know, our egos just feel so threatened by circling back around. But I think once we start doing it on a regular basis, we just go, "listen, this creates the relationship I want. This is valuable to me to be able to let this person know that I love them, that I see them, that I want to be better in this relationship." 

Stacey 35:11 

Very true. And this person, I mean, especially with Eric, he's my best friend. He's the person that I want to be with forever. And I want to treat him that way. I want him to know that he is loved and adored and cherished, even when things aren't perfect, or even when we disagree. I don't want there to ever be a doubt that he's my person. 

Tanya Hale 35:42 

Yeah. Yeah. And we get to show up that way. 

Stacey 35:47 

Lucky us! 

Tanya Hale 35:48 

I know, right? I just love that you have found a relationship that's very similar to mine and Sione's, right? Just this space of a lot of mutual respect and also a place where you want the same thing and you're willing to set your egos aside to show up in a way that says you are the person that matters most, and I'm going to treat you with love and with kindness, even when my egos over there whining like a baby in the corner, right? I'm still going to show up the way that I want to. And it takes practice and it takes cognitive awareness. But it just gets easier and easier, doesn't it? 

Stacey 36:31 

Yes, it does. It does. And having someone that's on the same page is amazing. 

Tanya Hale 36:40 

Yeah. Alright. So Stacy, a lot of people are on the fence about either like implementing the concepts that I teach on the podcast or coming to a group coaching class, or even doing one-on-one coaching with me. And there's a lot of reasons that people are on the fence about it. You know, there's time, there's energy, there's money, there's all kinds of things. But what would you suggest? I mean, what would be your words of wisdom for anybody who's like, "do I, do I not? Like, what do I want to do? Is it worth it?" Like, I don't know. What would you say? 

Stacey 37:18 

Just do it. It is worth every penny, every minute that you have to spend. The place that I am right now in my relationships is so much better. The quality is amazing. And I attribute most of that to coaching and just being able to see where I want to be and how I want to show up and the person that I want to be at the end of the day. And I learned all of those skills through coaching. 

Tanya Hale 38:02 

And you busted your butt to do it. 

Stacey 38:04 

I busted my butt. 

Tanya Hale 38:06 

Yeah. I was the facilitator. And you were going over there busting your butt. And you worked really hard. You worked through some really, really tough situations. And I'm just super proud of you. I'm just so thrilled to see where you are and what you've done with your life. 

Stacey 38:23 

Thank you. 

Tanya Hale 38:24 

It's just so exciting to see. A right. I think that's going to do it. Thank you for sharing your story. I think it's just valuable for people to see that this works. And whether people want to work with me one-on-one or whether they just want to get serious about implementing these tools. Because everything I taught you is on the podcast. It's not like I taught you a secret sauce or something and you were like, "what? That's brand new." It's all on the podcast. But it's hard sometimes to see it yourself. 

Stacey 39:01 

It is, and the podcasts are invaluable, honestly. I still listen to them all the time, and I giggle when Sione's on there with you... 

Tanya Hale 39:10 

Thank you. He's cute. 

Stacey 39:12 

They are, they're invaluable, but one-on-one coaching is just a whole different ballgame. You apply everything directly into your situation, your circumstances. 

Tanya Hale 39:27 

It's good stuff. It's good stuff. It's changed my life for sure. And I know it's changed yours. I've watched the transformation right in front of my eyes and it was beautiful and brilliant. Thanks, Stacey. 

Stacey 39:41 

Thank you. And you have become such a good friend and I just, I love you. 

Tanya Hale 39:47 

I love you too. Thanks for being here and thanks for sharing. I appreciate your courage because I know it can be a little bit scary sometimes, so thank you. 

Stacey 39:56 

You're very welcome. 

Tanya Hale 39:58 

Okay, have an awesome day, my friend. 

Stacey 40:00 

Thank you, you too. 

Tanya Hale 40:03 

Thank you so much for joining me today. If you would love to receive some weekend motivation, be sure to sign up for my free "weekend win" Friday email: a short and quick message to help you have a better weekend and position yourself for a more productive week. Go to tanyahale.com to sign up and learn more about life coaching and how it can help you get to your best self ever. See ya!